What is trust, anyway? Or maybe you just convinced yourself that your partner would never find out, so why not have a little fun? The good news is trust can be rebuilt and the relationship can be better than ever. You are the one I want. Rebuilding Trust Takes Time and Patience If you've been unfaithful and you've decided "I want to come home," it's important to realize that you're not going to be able to put the affair away in a vault and lock it up. Do what you can do to change the situation and make it better.
It felt so good at the time and it all happened so quickly. But can it ever be the same between you again? This includes crying about what you have done, asking you lots and lots of questions, hurling a great deal of judgment, even raging at you, all the while you stand strong, stay faithful, keep apologizing, and reaching out with compassion and understanding. The good news is trust can be rebuilt and the relationship can be better than ever. You never wanted to hurt your partner. You don't want your primary relationship to end. Your main job during this process is to be dependable, consistent, responsive and comforting. Take it one day at a time, one week at a time, and follow the eight guidelines. It is both a rite of passage and a healing journey that takes patience, courage, inner strength and time for both the betrayed and the betrayer to heal, regain balance, and learn anew the dance of trust. Make yourself and your schedule an open book. I am so sorry for the pain I caused you and us. Show your partner how much you love and appreciate them in big and small ways every day. You are the one I want. What is trust, anyway? Have a plan in place that will help you to stay calm and centered while you navigate through the inevitable bumps, obstacles, landmines and setbacks that will happen. One day it seems like there's hope for tomorrow, and the next day, you're sleeping on the couch again. You still love them. You felt attractive, sexy, and alive for maybe the first time in years. Rebuilding Trust Takes Time and Patience If you've been unfaithful and you've decided "I want to come home," it's important to realize that you're not going to be able to put the affair away in a vault and lock it up. Now that the affair is over, you have the stone cold realization that you may have damaged or even destroyed the most precious gift you've ever been given -- your primary partner's trust and love. Fundamentally, trust is the belief that "I am safe. Do what you can do to change the situation and make it better. Keep holding onto the bigger vision that you'll both get through this, no matter how shaky it seems at the moment. Affection, Attention and Appreciation daily. The answer to that is there's good news and bad news.
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