So, let's say a guy makes a conscious decision to share more. See how much lying you can do when you lapse into a dehydration coma, you duplicitous monster! Continue Reading Below Advertisement What kind of consequences he can expect: Then you're safe to assume he's banging somebody else. After all, according to various Cosmo articles Guys are tough to figure out:
Now he's stuck at the office looking like a year-old trying to eke out his contribution to Movember. Continue Reading Below Advertisement What kind of consequences he can expect: Relationships are like a game of chess, if chess had a move that forced the other player to leave his home and possessions behind and stay in a Motel 6 for five weeks. It's probably a good thing that he'll never be capable of maintaining an erection again, because if wanting it means that he's cheating on her, being physically incapable of it must be the ultimate sign of fidelity. Continue Reading Below Advertisement "Serve up Ex-Lax brownies to give him puh-lenty of time to sit and think about what he's done. Continue Reading Below Advertisement As it turns out, a man's dry throat is another giveaway that he's hiding something from his girlfriend. So, say this man's girlfriend listened to the former that is, that her man is cheating because he can really paint a picture with words. Our guy sure is a lucky man, and maybe it's time to show her that. Continue Reading Below Advertisement He's in for a night in the hospital, because his girlfriend just read this: As if work hasn't been stressful enough as it is, our hypothetical man's reward for talking to this hypothetical woman who obeys the mighty word of Cosmo about all the crap he deals with at work is Continue Reading Below Advertisement Yep, he's really got some 'splaining to do now. This is technically fulfilling that need, right? Constant, ceaseless fear of judgment is the backbone of any successful relationship or totalitarian government. And he could sure use a drink after that day. When she asks him about his day, instead of just saying, "fine," he can tell her in detail about his argument with Sarah, the lady from HR. Now she just picks up the next issue and figures out what to do about it: Yes, these are revenge suggestions for when she merely thinks -- not knows -- that he's cheating: Hey, he wanted to physically connect with his significant other. We know most women laugh that stuff off as cheap entertainment not to be taken seriously, but what if they actually did listen to all of the advice? What, exactly, were we 'presenting' again? Your horrible package to that bitch Sarah? But he could actually be trying to cover his ass. You know, because he wanted to be more communicative? Here's what Cosmo has to say: Women never blame the aliens.
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