Either way the point has been made — and yet not made too. What will you no longer tolerate? Dealing with a passive aggressive person can be an exercise in frustration. The worst case scenario has nothing to do with this covert aggressive person, actually. To all aggressives, life is a competition — and they despise losing. Just because someone lies once does not make them a pathological liar. Instead of offering praise when it's due, they typically downplay or ignore others' achievements. Do they tease others cruelly or put them down, either directly or behind their back? In this article, we'll define passive aggression, explain why people might act in this way, describe the effect it can have in the workplace, and suggest strategies for managing it.
For instance, if someone is consistently sending mixed messages about her intentions, you may find your team regularly misses its deadlines, which reflects badly on you. They go silent, obstruct, or withhold A passive aggressive person may also go silent and withhold communication or information from you, as a form of manipulation. Engage positively and assertively Instead, it helps to engage positively and assertively with the person, focusing on the specific goals or issues under discussion. If you're going to confront a passive-aggressive person, be clear about the issue at hand. Every war, bar brawl or playground smackdown ever fought has resulted from our habit of lashing out first and talking it through only later. Make notes on situations as they occur, so that you have specific examples of what your team member has done, so he knows exactly what you're talking about. You may then remind him when the workday starts, and ask him to show up on time in future. When you find yourself resorting to this behavior, how can you stop? Make it clear that you won't tolerate being mistreated, Wetzler says. It can be an effective tactic, especially when the explanation or justification the aggressor offers makes just enough sense that any reasonably conscientious person is likely to fall for it. Or that it will take much longer than planned. But this is like fixing your roach problem by burning your house down. Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People: If cornered, they may turn to anger. I know [fellow team member] Jill is really looking forward to working with you on the next phase of the project. Be on the lookout for tactics: The objective, of course, is to get an idea out there, then immediately disown it — thus putting the burden of getting it done or not done on you. And avoid using sarcasm, hostility or threats. Alternatively, they might do it because they have a grudge against a colleague, or feel underappreciated. To all aggressives, life is a competition — and they despise losing. Make it clear to her that, as a manager, you don't "shoot messengers," and would rather her come to you with her problems rather than let them bubble under the surface. Prepare First thing you need is some boundaries. Research shows that, over the long haul, trusting is better than not trusting. Do not give them the wiggle room that they love. If you get more than that, less than that, or something completely foreign to that, you can assume, at least to some degree, someone is trying to manipulate you. Remove yourself If nothing works or for your own mental health benefit, you may not be able to regularly deal with someone who is passive aggressive.
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