You are vastly less likely to have an encounter that you will later regret. So what does this line of thought tell us about the case of Dido and Aeneas? Do not contemplate for even a second. Aeneas is hoping for a night of passion, but is rather disconcerted when Dido explains the circumstances under which this might occur: Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. This raises the possibility that drunken consent, even if it meets the legal bar for consent as in our scenario , is compromised to the extent that it does not reflect the intoxicated person's established, and relatively stable - i.
Dido starts drinking, and eventually tells Aeneas that she's ready to have sex with him. A person who is "extremely intoxicated" lacks that capacity, which is why Evans, who admitted having sex with his victim, is now in jail. In one way, it should make us feel better about the prospect of their having sex together. If you're not sure why this is the case, ask yourself whether you'd trust the drunken version of yourself to make a decision about whether or not to participate in some relatively dangerous activity that you would normally avoid. The UK's Sexual Offences Act , for example, states that consent exists if a person agrees by choice to engage in sexual activity and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice. Plus you can really listen to what the other person is actually trying to communicate and then respond, when your brain is functioning on full speed. So a cautionary principle should hold sway. I guarded my sobriety fiercely, but I was also pretty terrified and rather than look for a way to get through something without a drink, for several months I just opted out. Therefore, at least arguably, Aeneas would not be taking advantage of her if he went ahead with the sexual encounter. However, although a person cannot consent if they're extremely intoxicated, it doesn't necessarily follow, even in those cases where there is no previously established consent as, for example, might exist between a married couple , that drunken sex itself cannot be consensual. Nowadays, more than 13 years after stopping for good, I can literally go anywhere and do anything. Normally, he would decline to have sex under such circumstances, but he wonders whether it makes a difference that she has deliberately ingested alcohol in order to get in the mood for sex. In this regard, the philosopher Immanuel Kant has illuminating things to say about morality. Look, Aeneas, I want to want to have sex with you, but I never actually want sex unless I'm drunk. If this is the case, then, in Kantian terms, at least, what we are doing is wrong. The mechanics work much better. Although it is true that Dido would not have consented to sex without alcohol in her system, her intoxicated consent seems to be consistent with her established interests, desires and beliefs. However, I like to see being fully present for yourself and for the other person as being about words as well as actions. Much to gain, for yourself, your partner and for your relationship beyond the sheets. Being present means being there for yourself and staying with what works for you. So there you have it. You are vastly less likely to have an encounter that you will later regret. Imagine noticing so much more what is it that you are doing with and to them that they are really loving or not so much loving! As she put it, she wants to want sex, and she would be offended if anybody suggested she was being taken advantage of just because it so happens she only ever wants sex while drunk. Do not contemplate for even a second. Dido and Aeneas hook up at a nightclub, and then travel back to her place, where they get cozy together on the couch.
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