You could lose your job, your home and even your life. All of this then may be an underlying factor affecting why many guys to prefer to bottom or be submissive, and are reluctant to be versatile. Even with vanilla sex, as the top or leader you need to make decisions and gauge the right speed, intensity and flow of activities that will work best for your partner, not just yourself. Due to this most men receive very little touch. Of course, this depends some on the geographic region and the specific activities that are involved.
Generally, these were professionally produced, as well. These days even many straight men are drawn to sexual expressions that are marked by greater vulnerability such as being bound or receptive anal sex. This will give you more options, and thus more intimacy and pleasure. Polarity affects why we often are drawn to people different from us or to extremes of giving and receiving like erotic bondage or spanking. Even with vanilla sex, as the top or leader you need to make decisions and gauge the right speed, intensity and flow of activities that will work best for your partner, not just yourself. You end up asking yourself questions like: This is one of the reasons men are more likely to be homophobic than women. As the saying goes, opposites attract. Being as masculine as possible was therefore a very practical defense mechanism for gay men. Socially it could save one from physical danger or economic hardship. Much of the effort in being a top or dom is mental. In past times, simply being gay meant you were not safe in many ways. While professionally produced porn sometimes tries to look natural it often relies on expensive special effects and costly sets. Due to this most men receive very little touch. Whether your partner massages you, spanks you, penetrates or ties you, you get touched a lot more than he does. Thus, the natural instinct to create polarity and thus sexual tension may lead gay men to more heavily emphasize giving and receiving. The instinct to create polarity When we talk about balancing extremes, polarity also comes into play. Many others sought to accentuate their masculine qualities, to be hyper-masculine. Yes, they may find it entertaining or tolerate it, but even the simplest, discreet displays of affection it can still be met with subtle disapproval. In addition, there is a lot of home produced amateur pornography, both still images and video. This can bring up a strong and powerful longing to receive. One example of this is the increasing numbers of straight men who are enjoying receptive anal sex. Experiences that have been less common and which are considered desirable are more on the cultural radar of gay men then they were in the long distant past. How much am I enjoying it? Some men went along with this idea and flaunted their feminine qualities. Thus one reason most gay men prefer being sexually submissive is that we see more permission in the culture for men to express their emotions and ways of being that are not traditional and hyper-masculine. There is much less of a barrier between the viewer and amateur producer.
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