The best way to find out the answer to that question is to just wait for the person to bring it up themselves — which it inevitably will along with the other details that surface in the getting-to-know-you process, such as where you went to college or how many siblings you have. And if the answer is yes, for the love of God, don't ask "what" they are. I don't think it's happened yet. When OKCupid crunched the numbers again in , not much had changed: We make a lot of assumptions based on physical appearance, and a person's racial background is no exception. While that might have assuaged users' initial curiosity, people who messaged her kept harping on the subject. Though more people said they were open to interracial dating , the numbers showed racial biases were still in play.
In the United States, interracial dating is becoming increasingly common and socially accepted. As anyone who's ever received a dick pic knows, the distance an Internet connection provides gives people the freedom to be bolder — and in many cases, ruder — than they would be in real life. While on the website, she put her racial background on her profile. As a biracial person and the creator of the biraciallookslike hashtag, I've experienced this firsthand. Whether it's some drunk guy saying, "You're so hot, I don't care that you're Hispanic" I'm not Hispanic , or someone finding out my dad is from India and then only wanting to talk about curry and Bollywood, my experiences as a multiracial woman have been marked by people just not knowing how to bring up race without being incredibly awkward. Yet even though they found it tiring to field endless questions about what "mix" they were, some multiracial people told Mic that they preferred online dating to dating IRL, as it gave them the ability to be upfront about their identity on their profile. Not necessarily worse, but different. What they're really saying, however, is crystal-clear: Questions like "where are you from? Though more people said they were open to interracial dating , the numbers showed racial biases were still in play. But the world of online dating can be difficult in a very specific way for those who identify as multiracial. The Internet has a tendency to amplify both our best and worst traits. Thanks to a combination of unchecked biases and overt fetishizing, the dating world is a minefield for mixed race people. A "mixed" bag as they say. We make a lot of assumptions based on physical appearance, and a person's racial background is no exception. And if the answer is yes, for the love of God, don't ask "what" they are. Instead, they usually end up making mixed race people feel they're nothing more than fodder for a genetic guessing game of "what are you? You are a curiosity instead of a possible date. She added, "It's so hard to think of a time when someone has brought up my heritage respectfully. Look past the "exotic" picture and try to see whether they're a person you could enjoy spending time with. People are weird about race in the dating world, though, and despite wanting to come off as progressive and open-minded, many dating app users still have racial biases. But she also frequently interacts with white men who try to flatter her by saying they picked her profile specifically because they don't like to date white women. Ultimately, there is no polite or respectful way to ask someone what their race is on a dating app or IRL. While that might have assuaged users' initial curiosity, people who messaged her kept harping on the subject. It's a question many mixed race people are familiar with, a subtle code for "Why don't you look the way I think you should? Like Alyssa, she frequently receives messages pointing out how "exotic-looking" she is. It would be great if no one came into the dating world with racial biases, but when people are forced to make snap judgments from profile photos on apps like Tinder and Grindr, even those with the best intentions can say or do offensive things they might not necessarily mean, or categorize and fetishize people without realizing it.
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