You will think that nobody will ever love you or want you again, and you may be tempted to to date immediately and latch on to the first person who pays attention to you. You may be re-entering the workforce. Whatever combination of systems you choose should help you attain two objectives--creating a safe place for venting, while also helping you find constructive ways to cope with the divorce in a healthy manner. You may find friends treating you differently, thinking for some reason your split means that their relationship is in jeopardy. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
But even though you don't know it, there is a weight that will slowly start to ease from your shoulders -- the same weight that you denied all this time when you told yourself nothing was wrong. This is part of the grieving process, and you will need to learn how to balance it all: Resist this urge to attach yourself, even if you have not had that romantic touch or intimacy for a long time. You will think that nobody will ever love you or want you again, and you may be tempted to to date immediately and latch on to the first person who pays attention to you. You will be tempted to make certain divorce decisions that are driven by emotion, rather than driven by logic and handled in a business-like manner. The number of "to-do's" and "should-do's" regarding emotions, finances, legal issues, custody, and other logistics will come at you with incredible urgency; you will feel paralyzed and overwhelmed. Your children could have trouble adjusting. During the legal process of divorce , you will be forced to choose your battles. You will be so afraid of the unknown that you will reason with yourself that even though you are miserable, you at least are comfortable enough that you can endure your unhappy marriage. The rollercoaster and complexity of emotions you will feel when the decision is made to separate is unlike anything you have ever experienced. Understand that splitting is a process. Once you and your spouse decide to split, you will feel like you are getting sprayed with an industrial fire hose. You will find yourself in new situations that make you uncomfortable. You can choose to look at this split as a trauma from which you will never recover, and to be guided by anger and fear and not knowing what to do, or you can choose the path that takes more work -- the path where you ask for assistance, get the support you need, educate yourself about every aspect of the divorce and there are many , and understand that you will have the power to get through it all. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. You will break down frequently at the most inconvenient times and say to yourself, "My life was not supposed to be like this. You may be re-entering the workforce. The grief, the pain, the confusion, the fear, the desperation of wanting to be loved after your spouse is gone. Although you may tell yourself that you're fine, you will need a support system: In your times of despair, you will wallow in self-pity. You will learn that the split with your spouse has presented you with a choice and it is your decision alone how you handle it. You will need to learn that nobody wins in divorce. You will need to learn when to fight for the things that are rightfully yours, but also when to let other things go. Save yourself the stress by accepting that not everything has to be done right now. Here are eleven expectations to demystify the crazy train you are about to board and help you navigate the process. Like most things during the split, it will be easier said than done.
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