You can make sure it's as positive as possible for the two of you by acting with respect and dignity, and by keeping the channels of communication open and honest. The idea of sleeping with a virgin can be pretty daunting, due to the high degree of pressure we place on the concept to begin with. Are you being pressured out of using protection, or pressured into a relationship you've made clear you don't want? Again, communication is important here: If you are contemplating sleeping with a virgin who is much younger than you in her teens, say, while you are well into your 20s or older , it's worth reconsidering the power dynamics at play in your situation. If it's no big deal for her, you'll still need to be gentle and considerate, but there may be less emotional prep work involved. Your partner will probably need more preparation than you will, and it's your role to be there for her to discuss any issues that arise. Now is not the time to be experimenting with wild positions and sustained sex marathons, and your main focus should be on ensuring your partner's comfort.
If this is a massive, massive deal for her, you're going to need to talk about it in detail and spend some time laying the foundations for the event. If There Is A Big Age Gap Between You, Consider Not Doing It There are lots of reasons that women may end up being in their 20s or beyond and still in virginal states, but, in general, virginity does tend to correlate with younger age. In general, these contrasting conceptions of virginity divide down gender lines: No, not just with you: So far, so good! The idea of sleeping with a virgin can be pretty daunting, due to the high degree of pressure we place on the concept to begin with. Are you being pressured out of using protection, or pressured into a relationship you've made clear you don't want? Don't be a creep and don't take advantage of someone who is much younger than you. However, that's when things take an unexpected turn. Make Sure That You're Feeling Safe, Happy And Comfortable, Too Of course the focus here will mainly be on your partner, as she is the one who is losing her virginity, but that doesn't mean you fall out of the picture completely. Just because you've done this before, it doesn't mean you don't need to consider your own feelings. For others still, it's not that big a deal either way: These are crucial issues to work through ahead of time — you need to make sure everyone is on the same page and no one is being set up for hurt afterwards. Be There For Her Afterwards Regardless of your relationship status, you should be kind and courteous to your partner in the aftermath of her first sexual experience. Assuming that the virgin you're thinking of sleeping with is female, it's worth considering the whole host of societal pressure she is likely facing about the concept of her virginity, and what losing it means. Sex is something she hasn't experienced before and she will be physically unused to it, which could mean a bit of blood on your sheets and potentially some pain for her. There are still risks to consider no matter who you are sleeping with, so make sure you are using protection i. Sometimes young girls like the idea of sleeping with older men and may feel as if it makes them seem more mature and developed than their peers, but it's not unusual for them to regret having sex with older men later down the line. Will your relationship continue after the two of you have sex, and in what capacity? It's a pretty creepy way of looking at things, and it would be a good idea for you to reassure her that that's not your mindset. Read on for the top eight things to consider before sleeping with a virgin: Take your cues from your partner: Make sure the power dynamics in your relationship are equal, and that everyone is fully happy to proceed. Cuddle, say kind things, and stick around. You can make sure it's as positive as possible for the two of you by acting with respect and dignity, and by keeping the channels of communication open and honest. The key thing is for you to determine how your partner feels, and proceed accordingly from there.
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